Reflexive pronouns: myself, yourself, each other

When you use it

A reflexive pronoun (myself, herself, themselves…) is the object of a sentence when the object is the same person or thing as the subject. Compare Tom hurt him (another man) with Tom hurt himself (Tom). The ordinary object forms me, him and them have their own lesson on subject and object pronouns; this lesson is about the forms that point back to the subject.

Reflexive pronouns do three jobs:

• Same person. The subject does something to itself: I cut myself, She looked at herself.
• Emphasis. You stress that this person, and nobody else, did it: I made it myself.
• Fixed phrases. By myself (alone), enjoy yourself, help yourself, behave yourself.

Just as important is what English does not say. Many verbs that are reflexive in other languages take no pronoun at all in English: I feel tired, We met at six, Relax. And when two people do something to the other one, English uses each other, not a reflexive pronoun.

How it is formed

Singular forms end in -self, plural forms in -selves. The first part is my, your and our, but him, it and them, so hisself and theirselves are not standard English. You has two reflexive forms: yourself for one person, yourselves for a group. For one person whose gender is not known or not given, some speakers say themself and others themselves (Someone has locked themselves out); the exercises do not test this use.

After a verb or a preposition. Use the reflexive form when the object is the subject again: Anna burned herself on the oven, Tom is angry with himself, Take care of yourself. After a preposition of place (next to, behind, near, and with in the sense "carrying"), English normally uses the ordinary object pronoun instead: Tom put his bag next to him, I didn't have my keys with me.

Emphasis. Put the pronoun at the end of the clause or straight after the noun: We painted the kitchen ourselves means that nobody did it for us. The sentence is complete without the pronoun; it only adds weight.

By myself means "alone" or "without help": Can you carry that box by yourself? On my own means the same.

Fixed phrases. Enjoy yourself means "have a good time", help yourself means "take some food or drink, you don't need to ask", and behave yourself means "be good", usually said to children. Enjoy normally needs an object: We enjoyed ourselves or We enjoyed the party.

Each other. Tom and Anna looked at each other means that Tom looked at Anna and Anna looked at Tom. Tom and Anna looked at themselves means that each of them looked at his or her own face, for example in a mirror. One another means the same as each other and sounds a little more formal.

Verbs with no reflexive pronoun. These verbs normally take no pronoun in English: feel, relax, meet, concentrate, worry, remember, hurry, sit down, get up, wake up. Wash, shave and dress are usually used alone too (Tom shaved and dressed quickly). You usually add the pronoun when it matters that the person can do it alone, for example a small child: She can dress herself now. Both are correct English.

Examples

• Be careful with that knife, or you'll cut yourself.
• Tom taught himself Spanish with films and songs.
• Anna looked at herself in the mirror and smiled.
• We introduced ourselves to our new neighbours.
• The door locks itself at night.
• I didn't buy this cake. I baked it myself.
• The director herself answered my email, not her assistant.
• Come in, both of you, and help yourselves to some soup.
• Tom and Anna have known each other for ten years.
• The players were very proud of themselves after the match.

Common mistakes

• ✗Anna feels herself much better today.

  ✓ Anna feels much better today.

  Feel goes straight to an adjective (feel tired, feel better) with no pronoun in between. Почуватися has the reflexive ending -ся, so learners look for an English word to carry it. Чувствовать себя has себя, so herself seems to be needed in English too. Sich fühlen is reflexive (Sie fühlt sich besser), and the sich tends to come out as herself.

• ✗We met ourselves in front of the cinema.

  ✓ We met in front of the cinema.

  Meet, relax, concentrate, worry, remember and hurry normally take no reflexive pronoun in English. Зустрілися, хвилюватися, зосередитися all end in -ся; in English the plain verb is enough. Встретились, волноваться, сосредоточиться all end in -ся/-сь; in English the plain verb is enough. Sich treffen, sich erinnern, sich beeilen and sich konzentrieren are reflexive in German but not in English: We met, I remember, Hurry up.

• ✗After the argument, Tom and Anna didn't speak to themselves for a week.

  ✓ After the argument, Tom and Anna didn't speak to each other for a week.

  When each person does the action to the other one, use each other (or one another). Themselves would mean that each of them did it to himself or herself. Ukrainian has a separate form for this, одне одного, and also uses -ся for it (обнялися), which can lead to a reflexive pronoun in English. Russian has a separate form for this, друг друга, and also uses -ся for it (обнялись), which can lead to a reflexive pronoun in English. German sich can mean both, Sie lieben sich = they love each other; English must choose between themselves and each other.

• ✗They painted the house theirselves. / ✗ We enjoyed ourself.

  ✓ They painted the house themselves. / We enjoyed ourselves.

  The pronoun changes with the subject, and plural subjects take -selves. The third person is built on him and them, not on his and their. Себе is one form for every person (я бачу себе, вони бачать себе); English has a different form for each. Себя is one form for every person (я вижу себя, они видят себя); English has a different form for each. German sich covers er, sie, es and plural sie; English splits it into himself, herself, itself and themselves.

• ✗I put the bag next to myself.

  ✓ I put the bag next to me.

  After a preposition of place, English normally uses me, him, her, us and them, even when the person is the subject. Ukrainian says біля себе, so the reflexive feels natural after a preposition. Russian says рядом с собой, so the reflexive feels natural after a preposition. German says neben mich but neben sich for the third person, which tempts learners to write next to himself; English says next to him.

Practice

The exercises go from easy to harder. Each answer is checked at once. If it is wrong, you get a hint and a second try.